Radio Atrocity #0001

I nearly drove my car into a light pole after this song came on the radio today, simply for the sweet release of death. This song is a perfect storm of the worst qualities of the modern “radio-friendly” landscape. All the ingredients for a vomit-inducing ipecac of pop are here. Over-wrought, affected cutesy voice? Check! Simplistic, strummy acoustic guitar (for that “authentic” vibe)? Check! Pretty young girl with long hair, cowboy boots and a folky summer dress singing about how much she'll love that cute boy forever? Check!

Don't get me wrong! There is nothing wrong with a simple love song, and heaven knows we could probably use a hell of a lot more of them on the radio these days. However, when that aching heart-felt realness gets watered down into trite sentiments and simplistic formulaic lovey dovey platitudes, it becomes nothing more than American Idol fodder for the market-tested playlists of American light rock and adult contemporary media machines. These kinds of songs have no personal touch, no thought-provoking aspects. They're meant for jewelry commercials and young adult TV dramas. They have no friction, no sex, no sense of wonder, danger or anything that might distract from the modular marketability of it as a soundtrack to middle American teen angst.

Watch this train-wreck of mediocrity at your own risk:



For a light-rock love song, I'll take Gerry Rafferty's “Right Down The Line” instead, thanks...